This week we had a little 4 month-old fosterlove with us. Of course she was included in Mamaschool, too! Beck and I set up our little play gym and Beck happily and lovingly hung EVERYTHING he could find for her to look at. :) We also found the perfect book to prop open for her to look at.
Ten Little Beasties is a short book that can be sung to the tune of "Ten Little Indians." I love books that are also songs, and so do babies! The high-contrast illustrations are perfect for tiny readers--even newborns would be captivated by this book! My big boy loves it, too, which is a win-win!
We often prop up books around our babies, especially when they learn to roll on their tummies! This allows them to see something beautiful, stimulating and interesting at their level!
At MamaSchool we look for the learning in the little things...the daily things that happen over and over again, but leave openings for little hands and hearts and minds to grow.
Lunch is one of these times. Learning to set the table properly. Taking time to add beauty through the dishes and linens we use. Handling breakable dishes carefully and learning what to do when one of them accidentally breaks. Learning to pour tea independently. Using a knife to spread peanut butter and jam (fine motor!). These are all niches for learning to occur. Sure, it might take a little longer to teach a small person to carry our good pottery plates instead of tossing out some plastic ones. Of course I could have made that sandwich WAY quicker and FAR less messy. But these are the moments in our day that MamaSchool is most beautiful....when Mama takes a breath and steps back and lets him do things himself...or takes a breath and steps up to show him one more time how to do it carefully and correctly and with his very best effort.
And no, lunch doesn't always happen this way. Sometimes I do make his food and it is on plastic...and that is life and that is okay....But we try hard to slow our days enough that being 4, and all the lovliness that involves, can unfold....as he learns to gracefully and kindly and lovingly navigate this world around him. And me? I am still learning those lessons too. So it's MamaSchool for us both!
We have an art easel that we use off and on in our kitchen area. Our art studio area is upstairs, so I also like to offer some art opportunities downstairs. The easel was put away for about 6 months, but I recently brought it out again and of course it was a big hit! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially with easels! Ha!
Here's what it looks like for Q(6) and B(newly 4):
Paper in a basket underneath, a role of washi tape to attach the paper to the easel. I gave the kids a mini-lesson on the correct way to do this. Q can tape up paper independently, B needs help. Often times I tape up a blank piece of white paper, and it proves irresistible--someone comes to paint as soon as they spot it! I also try to occasionally stop and paint a bit to model it for my kids. They get so interested in watching Mama paint, too!
A jar of assorted paintbrushes
A sponge (cut in half to make a small square) for wiping brushes or spills
A small container of small chalk bits (small pieces encourage correct finger grasp for young writers) and a little eraser
2 mugs that are used for rinse water for painting--one for warm colors and one for cool colors. Q and I learned to do this in our recent watercolor class. I love that it teaches her to think back about her color theory and where particular colors belong. B just uses them both for either color, and that's fine (with me, not his sister...she hates that).
I have a little stool next to the easel that holds a pallet of watercolor cakes (the largest size crayola makes). I put out washable cakes for independent painting, but we use liquid watercolors when we sit down for a guided painting time.
I also recently bought Q some tempera cakes for some variety. I am not super impressed with the ones we got, but she likes them. I hoped they would be darker and more vibrant. I ordered them, but I need to see what some of the craft stores or even Lakeshore carry. Theirs might be higher quality. Anyhow, paint cakes are great because they are less messy than liquid paint and I don't have to worry about wasting paint that dries out. I provide liquid tempera upstairs in the studio, so they still get different opportunities with a variety of paint mediums.
We have a cupboard nearby with a basket of old washcloths that the kids have access to for any clean up that is necessary! They know to put completed pictures on the table if they want to paint another one! We have a little "training session" when I first get out the easel to show them how to use everything. Q is very helpful in getting water for her brother and taping up his paper, which is great!!
We've been on the sleep road a long time now....since about the time our oldest (6.5 years old now...) turned 18 months old. Do you know how crazy it is to have a toddler that can stay awake until midnight??!! And not a fun crazy. She also stopped napping at that point, so onset of sleeplessness caused major problems in her happiness factor. And ours!!!
For her, she had an amazing ability to "keep herself awake." The tireder she got, the more she would wind herself up and look for ways to stimulate herself (singing, climbing her furniture, playing, crying, dancing, etc.) so that her body would not slow down and transition into sleep. We would find our 18 month old on the top of her book shelf (standing up, touching the ceiling), asleep on top of her high dresser, and once she actually moved her toybox/bookshelf combo across the room, tipped it against the wall and was asleep under it--our frantic babysitter called us, freaking out that our 2 year old had moved the furniture and worried about her safety. She would tear up her room, kick her door, jump on her bed, sing at the top of her lungs, crawl into her window....you name it....all to avoid sleeping.
Around the time she turned 6, we finally got a good, healthy, peaceful handle on the sleep issues on a consistent basis. I've had so many people (who knew about our crazy sleep journey) ask questions as they struggle at one time or another with sleeplessness in their own kiddos, so I decided it was time to write my thoughts down. We talked with her pediatrician about our sleep problems and did not feel that she took us very seriously--her recommendations were a warm bath and a routine. By that point we were so far past those two things that it felt like she was giving us a band-aid to put on an amputated arm. At this point I began to do my own research.....lots of reading about sleep/child development stages/sensory issues, lots of trial and error, and talking to our homeopath and her wonderful teachers at school.
To begin with, we definitely encounter sleep issues in Quinn to varying intensities in phases. She will have a couple of months where she is able to transition into sleep on her own and easily. Then she will have weeks or even months with intense difficulty sleeping and will require more intense interventions from us (her parents) to sleep. Quinn definitely has some sensory issues and seems to lack a filter with which to block out sensations from her environment that don't involve her. She takes EVERYTHING into her little person....This might look like she is absolutely not able to mind her own business--she is tuned in to everyone and everything else in the room.....the sounds, the smells, the emotions, etc. She gets very saturated in sensations and becomes over-stimulated and almost buzzes herself with all this absorbed energy. It's during these seasons--when her filter is not blocking out anything--that she has most trouble sleeping. Often we have observed that it seems to be connected to growth spurts for her--she is very affected by growth periods and they seem to influence her sleep most of all. She is also very sensitive to changes in her routine or world--the beginning of a school year, a trip, a parent being gone, etc. These temporary situations seem to "rock her world" and cause sleep problems, as well.
Knowing the above information about situations that make sleeping hard for her makes the whole "sleep thing" easier for me to work with as a parent--knowing that it isn't going to be horrible forever, and if we can get through this rough patch there will be smoother water ahead.....
So I would encourage parents with children that suffer with sleep issues to do some investigative and observational work to see if you can figure out what causes your child's sleep issues--are they connected to anything? It might even help to keep a journal for a couple months regarding what is going on in your child's life and then how bedtime/sleeptime goes each night.
And now....drumroll.....Here are some of the interventions that have been helpful to Quinn and transitioning her to sleep. At times we may use one of the interventions....at other times a couple in combination, and some weeks we pull out the whole shebang. All of this takes time, so don't expect an instant result. Trying anything new with children takes several exposures before things typically work the way you intended. So don't get your hopes up or down (as to the successfulness) without giving things a week or two to level out. Also, as a parent you are going to get to know your child's sleep best--so after a while you will be able to easily discern which interventions work best with what conditions. Until you get to this point, try adding just one new intervention at a time, giving a couple of weeks between.....start slowly, but stick with it and be consistent. Inconsistency may very well make things worse, so once you start something, keep with it unless you really feel it is having harmful results. Also, don't let your child use these interventions turn bedtime into a giant production or more ways to procrastinate bedtime. You will need to be firm about what is acceptable at bedtime. Plan out (with your spouse) what interventions and what order they will be used ahead of bedtime and share this with your child, so that as you are beginning the bedtime wind-down, they don't start asking for everything under the sun. It might help to have a little "meeting" before the bedtime routine even starts, with parents and child. "What two things do you think would most help you sleep tonight?" You might need to have a picture chart of some options for your child to choose from. Obviously if you have a very young child, this won't be possible and you will make these decisions, but for an older child the goal is for them to transition into taking control over their own sleep situation, and giving them tools they can use on their own.
1) No tv/media/tablet, and no excess sugar or caffiene for dinner and after
We don't let Quinn have any media most of the time, because there is black and white research out there that screens negatively affect sleep. Most parents like to kinda ignore this because it's inconvenient....but it's proven. So one of the first recommendations I'd make is to wean off screens, especially from noon on. Don't tell your kids you are taking away screen time because they aren't sleeping well--this adds stress and negativity to the situation. If they ask, just tell them "not today, we're going to do something else today!" In the place of screens, try teaching your kids to listen to audiobooks or podcasts like sparklestories.com or reading books, playing, going outside, etc. The no excess sugar is something you have to pay attention to--there is tons of sugar in most yogurts, so we had to cut those out. Keep your eye on what your kiddos eat and drink in the evenings. Remember juice is super high in sugar.
2) Set up a conducive sleep environment.
We had to put a piece of foamboard under the blinds in Quinn's window to block out the light. We also discovered she likes sleeping in a small space, so we set her adjustable toddler bed to the smallest size and she sleeps curled up in her little nest. We don't allow her to make changes to her sleep environment once bedtime is underway--we say no to requests to sleeping on the floor, turning on her lamp, etc. We keep the environment exactly the same every night, unless we've previously discussed it in a little "meeting" and we're all on board with this being a good decision.
3)Bedtime Routine
Our bedtime routine changes slightly between seasons--ie: in summer and on school nights, but we try as well as we can to keep to the same bedtime routine.
For us it is generally a bath--we've found she needs to bathe by herself and not with her little brother, as this amped her up and was not calming. After bath a parent gets in her bed with her to read. We read by lamplight to start calming down the situation. Usually we read 20-30 minutes. During this time we also offer some calming cuddles and talk about anything she wants to talk about. Sometimes she has things she needs to discuss, and getting them off her chest helps her ease into sleep better. Having a time to just be together and talk if we need to has worked really well for us....so this means that bedtime cannot be rushed....and on nights when it is, we see a negative impact on her sleep. We typically start for bed around 7pm with the goal of lights out at 8 or even before. And while we like to let bedtime unfold calmly and slowly, also resist the temptation to let your child "derail" bedtime and start a series of stalling events. Quinn is a mastermind of this and would love to add in all sorts of shenanigans: "I need to go hug my brother. I want to show you something downstairs. I need something to eat.,....." We gently say no to anything not on our regular "sleep schedule" and offer that she is welcome to do whatever things she is thinking of in the morning. "You can show me your drawing in the morning." "You are already in bed. You're welcome to hug your brother BEFORE bed tomorrow night. I"ll remind you." Because we have two (sometimes three...depends on the foster baby situation) kiddos, one parent works with Quinn and the other parent with the other kiddo/s. We switch off so that both parents become adept at putting Quinn to bed and so that we can both bringing our unique observations and way of relating to her into the equation. I'd really recommend considering that only one parent does bedtime with a struggling sleeper at night--two parent involvement tends to turn things into more of a production and may amp up your child. Switch frequently and communicate so both parents are able to put the child to bed.
4) Massage
We've had great success with deep massage. We've done joint compression with her with great success. Here's a video (do them with your child laying down in bed, by lamplight....to keep things soothing.)
After that, we use lavender lotion to give her deep massage on her limbs and back. We like the kind from Avalon Organics. Sometimes she will ask for scratching on her back and we'll do that as well. Often times whichever parent is reading to her will also do some massage while they are reading. Typically we do the joint compression before we read aloud to her.
5) Essential Oils
I sometimes use a few drops of vetiver oil (grounding properties) in her bath water. We've had even more success rubbing lavender oil onto her feet and then putting socks over them. I don't dilute it for her feet, just rub a couple drops on, give some massage, and then cover her feet with socks. She usually takes the socks off in the night, and that's fine. Don't put straight lavender oil onto a child's body unless it's their feet, though, as it is strong and can burn or sting eyes and skin. We actually think the oil on the feet is one of our best interventions, probably in combination to the feet massage. You can also put the Avalon Organics Lavender lotion on their feet.
6) Audiobooks
We started out using soothing music with Quinn at bedtime. I'd strongly recommend the CD "Cool Bananas," It has music set to a soothing beat that begins more quickly and slows as the cd continues to help lead the child into a calm state. It seemed to work well for us and my kids loved it. Now, however, Quinn listens to audiobooks at bedtime. For her, we found that if we could get her to stay in her bed and remain somewhat still, she could fall asleep. Audiobooks were the ticket for this. She will lay mostly still so that she can listen to the story, and this transitions her into sleep. Obviously it took some time for her to learn to listen and build up her listening comprehenion for audiobooks. I'd encourage you to begin using these a lot....in the car as you drive, during snack times, and especially at bedtime. I have a couple lists of recommended books on my blog. You can also check out your library, audible.com, and I'd really recommend a podcast called Sparkle Stories. You can stream the stories for free. They also have a subscription service where you can buy audiobooks or individual stories. One series is called Sparkle Sleepytime and it is written to help children sleep. ALL of their stories are beautifully crafted, written by people who have a very solid knowledge of child development and highly entertaining. I cannot strongly enough recommend them!! Here's a link to their Sleepytime Series. We turn on her audiobook as we leave her room and say goodnight. This also seems to help curb her freakouts of us leaving her room--she's excited to start listening to her story, so she says goodnight to us easily. At this point we go to the library at least once, maybe twice a week to supply her audiobook habit! She is excited about it and gets to choose the books she listens to (with Mama okaying that they are appropriate and on her level) so she's highly motivated to listen to her audiobooks. If you are new to audiobooks and are a little unsure, I'd recommend starting with the SparkleStories audio. ALL of their stuff is appropriate for ages 3 and up and there is nothing inappropriate, scary, or morally offensive. Just beautiful stories that you will fall in love with, too!
We even take audiobooks with us to bedtime away from home. We have a discman and headphones she uses at hotels, etc. All her grandparents are awesome and keep a cd player in her bedroom because they know she falls asleep listening to her stories. I also keep a couple of sparkle stories saved on my phone to use in an emergency. :)
7) Heatpacks
I made several hotpacks. Basically I sewed flannel squares or rectangles into little pockets, added some hulled barley (or rice) and some dried lavender flowers (all bought at the whole foods section of our local grocery store). We heat them in the microwave before bed and put them on her--usually one behind her neck and the largest one across her torso. The weight of the packs helps with her proprioception system--to calm things down and ground her body--and the heat and scent is soothing. HERE is an article that discusses this in greater detail. They actually recommend weighted blankets for the same purpose--but the weight of a rice pack achieves the same goal. We do make a rule that we only heat up hotpacks once a night, so she has learned she needs to get right into bed and may down if she wants them to still be hot. Often if we are using heatpacks in conjunction with massage, joint compression, etc., we get everything completed (all the other interventions) to the point of being ready to leave her room and the other parent runs downstairs and heats her packs and brings it in, so she receives them just as we leave her room--to have the longest amount of "warm time." However, as noted, even when they are no longer warm, the weight of them is still beneficial. Here's a link on making them, and you can also buy them places. Often health food stores and probably etsy. If you know me personally I'd happily make you one if you purchase the supplies. They aren't hard to do! In the summer, we sometimes skip the heating part and she just uses the packs for the weight upon her torso--as it is relaxing to her nervous system.
8) Weighted or tight blankets and tight pj's
We haven't invested in "official" weighted blankets. However we do have several crocheted afghans that are fairly heavy--much heavier than a standard throw or quilt or blanket. We use these with Quinn when we want a weighted blanket intervention. We also put her in the tightest pj's we have--usually leggings that are tight and a tight top, for the same purpose as the weighted blanket. Q tends to be a hot sleeper, so sometimes we get a good deal of resistance about anything that adds more heat (except hot packs--she loves those!) so a blanket isn't always an option. but tight pj's can help.
9) Melotonin
Finally, when we really need extra assistance, we use a few drops of liquid melatonin. Initially I would recommend buying THIS ONE so you get the little dropper, which makes it easier to distribute and to transport. Then I would buy THIS once your glass bottle runs out, and use it to refill the glass bottle, as it's way cheaper per dose, but the large bottle isn't real user friendly. Or you can buy the same item, different brand from Amazon, or if you are local they have it in the natural supplements (in the sleeping aids) at HEB--that's where we buy ours. We have never used as high of a dosage as recommended on the back. When Quinn was very young, we could literally give her two drops and it would work. Now we give her a dropper full. I recommend starting with very little and increasing as needed. You will have to read and research for yourself if you feel comfortable giving melatonin to your child, but we feel very good about it, have the recommendation of our homeopath and my husband talked about it with his pharmocology professer (an expert in the field) when he was in school and we feel it is very safe. When she was 18 months and stopped sleeping we needed to use the melatonin every night. However, as we've built up more of an arsenal of other tools, we find we don't have to use the melatonin very much and the other interventions often do the trick. We do sometimes give her the melatonin right off the bat if we know she NEEDS to get right to sleep to do well the next day--if we have an unusually early morning or she is having a really bad night, etc. Again, it goes back to knowing your kid. We give the melatonin during bathtime, as it takes a bit of time to kick in. It dosn't make the child at all groggy and you can't see any effects of it working until they are in the dark--which stimulates the melatonin process (way too much science that my husband could explain and I totally can not...). We also use it for Quinn when we are sleeping somewhere other than our own beds--camping trips, vacations, etc. She really struggles with new environments, so melatonin is helpful for this. Now that she is almost 7, we rarely give her the melatonin initially. She occasionally gets up out of bed an hour or so after we've kissed her goodnight and shared in her bedtime routine, and at that point we give her permission to go take some melatonin. We're beginning to put some of the responsibility for sleeping onto her
10. Dry Brushing
We came across drybrushing as a tactile defensiveness reducer from Quinn's OT, but we found a great bedtime help from it, too. Drybrushing involves using a surgical brush--the one they use at the hospital to scrub newborn baby's heads when they get their first baths! You basically stroke (using a pretty strong amount of pressure) down the limbs and down the feet (if the child isn't tickled by this). The goal at bedtime is relaxation. For Quinn, if we brush downward on her legs (we do her arms first--the top of her arm about 20 time and then the bottom of that same arm, then switch to other side) and then legs (top of leg, bottom of leg, then switch sides) and even her back. Don't brush tummies, as it can interfere with digestion. Quinn loves this and it is really calming to her. I often do this instead of massage (I give her the choice) while I read to her (I brush with one hand and hold the book with the other or let her hold the book) and she loves it and gets rag-doll limp and relaxed. For some kids, drybrushing excites their nervous systems, so you need to try it and see what response you get from your child. You can also buy "official dry brushes" used for health purposes from the internet, like HERE on Amazon....I don't think it matters that much what brush you use. You can get the surgical/sensory brush from Amazon HERE. For skin purposes, you brush toward your heart (to move the lymph fluids), but for relaxation purposes you want to go with the direction of the hair follicles (which would be from top to bottom of limbs).
I hope that these interventions can help other struggling sleepers....and their parents, too, as it is such a yucky road to travel down when your child cannot sleep and you want to help but don't know how. Don't get discouraged....there are so many seasons to childhood and this one will likely not last forever...and if it does, as a family you can gather more tools to work together at this!
Quinn has been begging for an art desk in her room for quite some time now. I've held off because art desks can get messy....lids get left off markers....oil pastels get dropped on the floor.....crayons get stepped on. I like our art desk where I can keep an eye on it and give reminders to clean up properly. Finally, though, we decided at almost-seven she was ready to have one in her room. We started off so simple. We moved our little writing table from the kitchen up to her room. They weren't using that table for art or writing since I set up the big table in the living room. Thus it had just become a place to pile junk, so I wasn't too sad to repurpose it! In her room I set it up with a painting the neighbor had made her, a bulletin board to hold some of her finished work, a sketch pad (actually she is already on her third one!), a marker block and a colored pencil block. Less items means less she has to maintain. She isn't ready for paint or glue or other media in her room....plus those are nice activities for us to do together still.
She just adores her little art desk and cranks out work by the dozen. Drawing and writing is (and always has been) so very soothing and calming to her and she often unwinds at the end of the day here, drawing by her soft lamp light.
She wanted to display her work in her room, so I gave her a roll of washi tape--that way it won't harm the paint on her walls. My kids know they aren't allowed to use real tape on walls. We spent far too much time painting this house to have to redo it! So washi tape is perfect.
Lately she found a couple children's dictionaries and has spent hours copying the words onto her own dictionary. I remember doing the same thing as a child and it fills my heart with joy to see her discovering the world of words and their features, motivated intrinsically. I could get onto a big soapbox here, but times like that confirm our decision to progress very slowly initially with her academic schooling. I need to write a post about that someday soon!!
She also took a Van Gogh art book her Grandbob and Grandsue gifted her with into her room and made her own versions of many of his pieces. Be still, my heart. :)
I really like for writing and drawing media to be displayed beautifully and in a way that invites their use. One of my favorite ways is to make a simple marker block or colored pencil block. I start with these even when my kids are tiny (click HERE to see what this looks like)--with just a few markers to choose from. Now she has way more choices since she can handle more! I bought her a new pack of colored pencils, so I knew it was time for a new block! I just cut two 2X4's to the same size and used woodglue and a clamp to stack them. The next day when the wood had dried I sanded the corners slightly, measured the size of the colored pencils and found a drill bit slightly larger. I made a mark on the drill bit so I could plunge in the same depth on each hole so there would be uniformity. Then I drilled my holes, inserted my pencils, and presto! It looked so pretty with all the pencils arranged in color order that I kinda wanted to plop that baby in the middle of our dining room table. But my girl intervened and carted it off to her room to draw away! And I've already had to help her with a pencil-sharpening session when she wore em all down to nubs!!
Sunday during communion I gave Quinn the following copywork to focus on. Now it's important to note that she is in a developmental stage where she LOVES copying....if she didn't, this type of work would have been tedious and pointless, but because she is internalizing and processing concepts of print through copying it right now, she loved this and it was perfect for her.
I started by whispering briefly in her ear a reminder of the different elements of communion and what they meant. We quickly flipped to I Cor 11 and read about Jesus providing the meaning of the cup and the bread. (All of this was happening very quietly while the elements were being passed out during worship). Then she went to work!
Adding "God" and "Jesus" at the end were her idea. She was so proud of her writing work, and she re-read it several times during the rest of the communion service. This was a simple activity that allowed her to work with the concept of communion at her own level. Obviously I wouldn't do this same activity with her every week, but might offer it as one of two choices for the next few weeks until she gets tired of it. I might change out the verse or even have her copy from her own Bible.
One activity we do many mornings is "Crash and Bump." It's basically a little obstacle course around our living room, and you've probably seen my posts about it before. The goal is to provide a structured outlet for some physical energy, promote gross motor development, vestibular development , proprioceptive development, direction-following, and just plain fun!
We change out our obstacles each week, but we keep pretty much the same TYPE of objective at each obstacle. I have the kids sit on the couch while I set up--they can look at books but not get off couch--and it takes me 5-7 min to get set up. I usually have a pretty good idea of what I'll set up planned in my head, and lots of obstacles are the same, or mostly the same with just a little tweak, each week.
For this obstacle, Q was jumping over the "river." Ie: a rug that she had to jump across.
Balance beam (table leaf spread across two chairs)
Trampoline (piece of Q's mattress with baby gate to hold onto to facilitate bouncing)
Pillow pit (all the couch pillows with a down comforter thrown on top)
Crawly tube and in the background is the road--a piece of black felt with lines of yellow felt hotglued down it--initially made for Beck's cars, but also works well for this!
This is the sommersault afghan. Beck does more of a roll--they go from one end to the other.
Uhhh-ohhh, doggy road block!
We also usually put out or rocking horse for riding and some rocker boards either to rock on or to walk across like a bridge. I put on some fun, fast-tempoed kids music and we have fun! There's no passing allowed, so if you catch up with the person ahead of you, choose to redo the past station or march in place...or just wait patiently! I usually help Beck with some of the obstacles such as the "balance beam." Sometimes I just line up chairs with no table leaf for them to walk across. Nothing fancy, but they have great fun and I know we're working on those little body systems that are forming pathways in the minds and bodies of little people!!!
If you read my blog at all you've read my praises of Jim Trelease's READ ALOUD HANDBOOK....he spends a large section of his book discussing the importance of reading aloud to your children--even the ones that can already read themselves. Largely this is because listening comprehension develops more quickly and at a higher rate than reading comprehension. That means that children can listen and understand a book more difficult than they can read on their own. Reading aloud to kids exposes them to richer vocabulary, more complex plot elements, more diverse settings, and more developed characterization.
So we read aloud to our kids several times a day at our house--at least at nap time and bedtime, but often first thing in the morning and maybe in-between if there's a good time for books.
One tool that we also love around here are audiobooks. Audiobooks provide a way for my children to be read to where they're in control of the situation. They choose the cd, they turn it off or on, and they can choose when they want to listen.
My daughter stopped napping at 18 months and also has a difficult time falling asleep at night. For her, audiobooks are a great sleep aide. She listens to stories during her rest time in a dark room to relax. At bedtime she prefers falling asleep to a story rather than music. My son still prefers music--so you can see the choice thing coming into play. Remember that it's great to provide opportunities for control and power to young children. Having a cd player and some cds in their room is a great tool for this!
Quinn also uses her audiobooks as a tool for times she needs to cool down or chill out--we call this "composing herself." She can typically go to her room and listen to a cd for a few minutes and calm/refocus herself enough to come out ready to rejoin the ongoing activities. I love that, often, a few minutes of a story gives her pleasure and calm and provides a medium through which she can regain control over her emotions.
We use audiobooks on roadtrips. I am not a tv person--we don't have our television on when the kids are around at home. While we do loosen up on this and typically let Quinn watch one movie on long road trips, I don't like to spend the whole drive with her watching a movie. We check out a stack of audiobooks and listen away! The advantage of audiobooks/reading aloud over movies and tvs is that they require the listener to use their own imagination to picture the scenes in the story. Movies are more passive--they do all the work for you and there isn't much left to the imagination. We live in a large city where sometimes even driving to places like church can take over 30 minutes. Often this is a great time to pop in an audiobook!
Quinn is 5 years old. At this point she has listened to the entire Magic Treehouse Collection several times over--which is more than 40 books. She has also enjoyed the Clementine series (Sara Pennypacker), Junie B Jones collection, My Father's Dragon series, Animal Rescue Team series (Stauffacher) and countless other picture books.
We also use audiobooks for calming tools. When we're having a crazy day and trouble getting along, often we'll pull up to the kitchen table with some markers or paints or colored pencils and draw, listening to our favorite Sparkle Stories. Sometimes when one of my kids doesn't feel to great they'll cuddle onto the couch with their blanket and a Sparkle Story playing.
Have you heard of Sparkle Stories? (www.sparklestories.com) It is a company that provides the most beautiful, simple, innocent stories that you can purchase from their website. The stories are based around child development and the rhythm and seasons of the year. In each story the characters work through a particular problem or issue in a lovely way. You can listen to some free stories on their blog or also on their podcast. We often have "Sparkle Lunch," which means we eat our lunch quietly while listening to a Sparkle Story. This is such a gem on those days we've been running like crazy all morning and just need some slow-down time to recharge.
I can definitely see the results of my two little ones listening to audiobooks often. Quinn is always amazing me with some vocabulary word she uses correctly in a sentence or a historical fact she throws in to our convo that I didn't even know she knew.
I really have to say, the Magic Tree House books are top notch. If you have preschoolers or younger elementary kiddos, you HAVE to share these with them! They are written in a way that appeal to boys and girls....and are wonderful exposures to historical fiction. I read Quinn the first one aloud, and then we checked out all the rest from the library on cd.
Here are some tips to help get started with audiobooks in your home:
1) Get a cd player--simple and low tech is best. We always get the cheapest one target or walmart has.
2) Teach cd and cd player handling. Practice with them several times. Supervise them doing it on their own for a while, and this will gradually lead to independence, even with children as young as 2 or 3. Be sure they know how to replace the cd in its case and have a special spot for storing cd's. If your child misuses a cd or the cd player, begin your lessons and practice again.
3) Like anything, listening comprehension takes practice. Your kids may not make it through a whole story and stay focused the first time. Start small--check out shorter picture books. Listen to the story on cd while looking at the book. Build up to longer sessions. I always like to take advantage of "captive audience" times like car rides to play audiobooks for my kids. As they are able to listen to stories through, you can expose them to longer and longer books. Quinn listens to chapter books, so she pauses her cd player between listening sessions.
4) Try some of the free Sparkle Stories. Remember that you might have to play the same story a few times for your kids to help them grow comfortable with something new and familiar with the characters.
5) The library is the best tool ever! Check out their audiobooks. We can put items on request from other libraries around our area--so I always have a list of what we want to listen to next. I am sure there are also websites such as audible that you can get kids audiobooks from, but for us we haven't exhausted the free ones at the library in the past several years, so we'll keep getting ours from there!
Quinn begs me several times a week to take her to the library for more audiobooks! She devours them. Beck is beginning to fall in love with them too, and often he's the one that asks for stories at lunchtime.
Important to note, I still think (and Trelease agrees with me!) that Matt and I reading aloud to the kiddos is the most important read alouds they get during their days. Using audiobooks hasn't become a substitute for this--we still read to them several times a day. The audiobooks are more of a supplement that they use at other times across their day.
So.....are you inspired? Or maybe you already listen to books on cd--if you haven't listened to Magic Tree House--please do!!!
We have a great easel the kids were gifted with a few years back. I like to change out the arrangement of play/learning/art items in our house. I believe this is one of a teacher mama's best tools for engaging little ones. Novelty and the way things are displayed.
So back to this easel. We had it in the dining room for a while in the past and the kids played with it a lot. Then they gradually stopped working with it. So I put it away for about 6 months--it folds down so I popped it into a closet. A couple weeks ago I brought it back out. I set it up in the dining room with some great colored pencils, a marker block, and some chalk. The kids have gone bonkers over it! Someone is always drawing something! It is like they got something new, and in their world they really have. It's been so long since they've played with it that it's now a new toy!
As summer engulfs our world and most of us are a little more fulltime teacher mama's, I encourage you to evaluate your play/learning space. What things are your kids not really using? Put them up somewhere for a few months. Give em a chance to be new toys again! Or even just move things to a new spot to catch your kids' eyes from a different perspective. Trade out some art supplies. Freshen up your play kitchen or your block area or even your bookshelf. Spend 30 minutes doing a little purposeful rearranging and you will be amazed at the power this small action has!
This tactic works wonders for any age--even adults like a freshened-up space! Try moving your table a different direction or your living room around to a different arrangement. It will add a nice element of change to your "nest" and a little variety to your summer. And babies--they love this tactic, too. Adds so much interest to their world! Move their mobile or change out what is over their changing area. Put something different on the wall above their crib. Change the direction their highchair faces....so many options!! Get creative, teacher mamas!
On Wednesdays we dance. But lately that has turned into more of an obstacle course, which my kids are loving. The night before (Tues. night) I sorta plan out my course and set out any materials I will need. We generally use the same stuff with one or two new things each time. Then on Wednesday the kids have to stay in the playroom while I set up. Then I put on music and we follow the course!
We do have rules--
-no passing the person in front of you. If you catch up to them you can jump or run in place while you wait patiently.
-use the materials correctly
-no pushing/shoving
-if you accidentally move an obstacle put it back where it was
Before we start the course I take them on a walk through and explain each obstacle.
Here are some example photos:
We generally have a "step upon" which is something they can walk on that has a texture to it--in this case pom poms. Sometimes they are in a pan or dish, sometimes just on the carpet. Bubble wrap, marbles, or any other object that provides texture will work. I trade this item out most times.
This is a dish of nuts in shells (pecans, almonds, etc.) They dump it out, walk across it, and then put them back in the dish. Step-upons provide sensory input and teach them how to walk carefully on different surfaces.
This guy was not following one of the rules (don't remember which one now) and he had to sit on the couch for a time out. My kids can definitely get wild and out of control during obstacles, and I don't want any blood or injuries, so we stick to the rules.
Riding the rocking horse:
Jumping across two rugs and into a down comforter, where you wallow yourself into it, then get up again. We call it the "snow pit."
The tunnel is a big hit. $4 at the Goodwill. I see them there often.
Bendy board bridge. Daddy made these for us. Some of the best toys ever.
Stepping across to the ottoman:
Jumping off ottoman:
Rocking in the "boat" laundry basket:
We also have another bendy board that we put the other way so it can be rocked upon. Sometimes we use diving rings that they have to step through. We've put down a string line that gets walked upon....the possibilities are endless. My kids LOVE this activity and it is awesome for proprioceptive awareness, motor control, rule following, and energy releasing, among other things! I will try to post more obstacle course pics as the weeks go by!
In light of the tradition of goal-setting at the year's beginning, I thought it'd be timely to share a post on our family tenants.
A while back I had a conversation with a friend who was transitioning out of her job to stay at home with her boys. In the course of our conversation we discussed some of the pros and cons of being both a working or at at-home (or a both) mommy. I shared that one of the hardest things for me has always been staying intentional about using our days wisely and not letting them just slip away and be "boring." But on the flipside, with the Internet and Pinterest, etc., you can also feel like a Momma failure if you aren't conducting a full-fledged homeschool session complete with flashy craft projects and a light board and amazing field trips to the moon. So for me, I needed to sit down and decide what was MOST IMPORTANT for our family--to have a set of tenants that I use to conduct our days.
It took me several days and several drafts, but I came up with something that is so helpful to keep in the back of my mind (and the back page of my journal that goes everywhere with me) as I decide what we do and where we go and what we eat and how our schedule looks. It both challenges me (some of the tenants are a little difficult to consistently adhere to!) but also gives me relief when we eat fast food for lunch one day (knowing that overall we eat great and one day isn't going to ruin this for us).
So here's what is most important in our days as a family: *We serve and love on others every week.
I had to think through this one. Could we do it every day? I sure hope so, but maybe not always. So AT LEAST once a week we are intentional about a "bigger" act of service (and of course we work hard to live like Jesus and serve in the little things/ways every day)--right now what that looks like is often writing letters/notes/drawings to a handful of shut-ins and sick folks we've committed to encouraging. Some weeks this is challenging--to get the notes written, addressed, mailed....more work that it sounds! But it also helps alleviate the guilt when we can't visit every nursing home and cook food for everyone who needs it. Some day those things may be good fits for us, but right now my kids are learning to serve and love others through a weekly act (and the small things I mentioned before). I also feel that by not packing our "Serving Schedule" too full we can really focus on the people we write to encourage.
*We pray, praise, and study God's word together every day.
This looks different through different seasons, ages, and even days of the week, but having this tenant helps me be intentional that every day has these elements included in it. On school days a lot of this happens in our morning "Driving Devotional."
*We love our neighbors as ourselves: sharing, talking kindly and upliftingly, gentle touches.
This tenant really helps me focus in on my discipline and what battles I choose with my kiddos, and the intent behind discipline encounters with them. Also guides the language I use with them during discipline.
*We leave room in our days for the Holy Spirit by not overfilling our calendar(s).
I mentioned earlier that we are intentional about one act of service a week. But I really feel that by not overfilling our calendars we leave room for other things the Spirit might lead us to--and often that may be an act of service. Because we don't have a gazillion extra-curricular activities, we are able to say yes to these things and not feel stressed. This tenant, in particular, helps guide us in saying no to pretty much all kid-type extra curricular activities for right now (realizing this may change as they age). We've decided that Quinn's 3 days of preschool and my/Beck's 1 day of Bible Study (on the same day Q does school) is the extent of our extra curricular activities. No dance, gymnastics, sports, music lessons, etc. at this point in time for us. I supplement a lot of that at home in simple preschooler-appropriate ways, but we have decided that for us an open calendar is more important that possibly over-filling our days and not leaving room to be together and allow the Spirit to guide our time.
*We take care of our home together.
My kids have chores. Even the 2 year old. And they are expected to clean up everything they use. We all live here and we consider our home and our things as blessings God has given us. As a result, this leads us to use them wisely and be good stewards of them. Which means everyone pitches in. And Daddy is the best example of all, to be truthful! That man can wash some dishes, fold some laundry, and vacuum a floor in a crazy-good way!
*We eat wholesome, unprocessed food together at the table.
We try to limit ourselves to only 2 meals eaten out a week. We generally don't do food dyes and added sugar (sweets) except on Saturdays (we call it "sugar day" and have one sweet treat....more on that in later post). Also we ALWAYS eat at the table. My kids don't EVER eat anywhere else. No snacks anywhere else, no drinks anywhere else other than the table.
*We exercise our bodies with outside play, dancing and touch.
This means my kids are outside every day. In the rain. In the cold. In the crazy-hot heat. Obviously we use weather-appropriate clothing and weather-appropriate activities (ie: we are at the pool every day in August!!) but my kids need to exercise those little bodies, develop their proprioceptive systems, use up their energy, and be kids. And I need fresh air and exercise, too! We also have dancing time inside several times a week, and tickle sessions (with wrestling for the little man) every night before bed! We use a lot of massage with the kids, too, especially before bed and especially as a calming tool.
*We're screen-free during the week and Mama is during awake-hours and Tuesday nights.
My kids don't watch any tv/video/dvd/computer during the week. Nothing. Not even one show. I don't have the tv on, either. On Saturday mornings Q often gets to watch Mr.Rogers a bit so the rest of us can sleep in. And Daddy shows Little Man chainsaw videos on Youtube. But during the week we feel that research so abundantly proves that it's best for our kids to be screen free. I work my very hardest to be during their awake hours, too. No email, computer, etc. Also we've declared Tuesday nights "No Tech Tuesdays" for Matt and I after dinner. We spend the time together with no technology. Do I need to tell you that Tuesday has become my favorite night? :)
*We read good books.
We read to the kids before nap/rest and at bedtime every day. And often in-between! We go to the library every week. I keep active book lists of developmentally appropriate and interest-appropriate books for my kiddos. And I try to read, too, though often it's just my Bible Study material. But that works! *We rest our bodies.
We do rest/nap every day. Q doesn't sleep, so she has to stay on her bed and listen to her books on CD for about an hour, then she can play quietly in her room. Her body really still needs to slow down and rest, and she also benefits from "forced boredom" by having to use her imagination to play quietly in her room!
*We enjoy God's creation together.
We watch birds, we look at cows and fields on the way to school. We observe the trees change colors. We take nature walks. We read nature books. We love nature and enjoying our God as Elohim--creator God!
*We play and learn together.
Our days contain playful and learning times, in a balance with the other tenants that are important to us. I spend time making a loose plan for each "home day" and we have a plan for the rhythm of our week. We follow a general schedule every day of our time.
So there it is....It has worked so great for me as a mom. Like I mentioned, this little piece of work guides my days....keeps me on my toes, and keeps me from being overwhelmed.
Wanted to share this time of year in case it might be something that appeals to other Mama's, as they think of the upcoming year and what is most important for their family.
We are reading the "Bed and Biscuit" series and on a whim I searched to see if the books were available on cd. It always surprises me how many great books are out there on cd--and available at the library! We take full advantage of the books on cd around here. Since Q was about 2.5 books on cd have been a great rest time tool for us. We started out with fairy tales and picture books (shorter with simpler plots) on cd for her to listen to during rest time. Eventually we started checking out the chapter books we'd read AFTER we'd read the book--she loves re-listening to her favorite stories. And wow, does this reinforce the vocabulary, character development, plot development and overall comprehension of our girl. Though that's not the real reason we love the books on cd--more than anything they are just plain enjoyable and a good tool to help her slow down and relax--she will lay on her bed and listen and her body gets a chance to slow down and rest.
Some we've enjoyed--
James and the Giant Peach
Charlotte's Web
Laura Paton's Fairy Tales
Brave Irene
Skippyjohn Jones books
Kevin Henkes books
Junie B Jones Series (yes, ALL of them are read aloud on cd!!)
Clementine series
My Father's Dragon series
Discover Nature series (Nicola Davies and others)
Curious George Series (once again--all read on cd!)
They are also great to put on for road trips in the car and I also like to put them in her discman on long roadtrips so she can listen with headphones.
Best of all, books on cd are a tool that grows with the child (or adult!) You can get books at any level. When I was in grad school and commuted to school I listened to some classics on cd that were too intimidating for me to read--much easier to listen to something than read it.
I encourage you to find some ways to enjoy books on cd in your home this week!!
Quinn has been wanting/needing (developmentally) a cash register. Except that you know I hate all the plasticy ones that make noises and beep and light up. Because that means my kids would spend all their time pushing buttons to make it light up and beep and ZERO time actually playing with it doing cash-register related tasks. So I wanted something that isolated the one skill of cash-register-using. I'd had it on my mind for a while--to be looking for something that worked out as a simple cash register. I'd even searched for plans to make a cardboard one online and came up with nothing. Last week when I was putting something in our playroom cabinet I spotted this guy--Beck's wooden shape sorter. It has a drawer that pulls out. PERFECT! I put some play bills (just a few) and some coins--I used the largest foreign money coins I could round up from our junk drawers, thinking they'd be least likely to go in Beck's mouth or get lost in the carpet. I also found a play credit card from some junkmail. I made a construction paper sign that I taped on, and voila! Quinn adores it and plays with it often, selling all sorts of stuff! Beck likes to drop the coins through the holes in the back and then open the drawer. So, I encourage you, as always, to be creative with your toys and look for other uses for them to fill a need that your child may have, developmentally. :)
I've been meaning to write this post forever--since Quinn was 18 months old. We're hitting all these topics a second time around with her little brother, so I am determined to keep up with the posting this time!
When Quinn was around 18 months old, she began to get a little more difficult to have with us in worship--ie: she didn't nurse or sleep or stare at her hands during the entire service anymore. Matt and I knew it was time to evaluate our plan for her. Our church offered a nursery for up to 3 year olds, but after talking about it, we didn't feel like that was a fit for our family.
Worship is such an important part of our week--of our relationship with God and with our church family. We couldn't see excluding her from that--we were a little family of 3 and it made such sense that we'd celebrate the worship time together. Yikes, so how would that be done? I started asking around and didn't get a whole lot of help beyond "bring cheerios" or "bring crayons." We decided, in this particular setting, that cheerios weren't an option for us--we wanted to help her participate in worship, not keep her distracted, and she'd already just eaten breakfast, so she wouldn't be in need of a snack, anyhow. (more on that later).
After I didn't get a lot of great advice from those I asked, I ended up getting pointed in the direction of two really great books--Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman (a very easy-to-read, fun, insightful book that I recommend as the #1 book on children and worship) and Children in the Worshiping Community by Ng and Thomas (much more theoretical and involved, though still a great read). These two books inspired me to be intentional about planning ways to include our little one in worship.
I won't say this was a smooth path. There were many weeks we left the worship time about to pull our hair out because we had wrestled our very strong-willed toddler the entire time. However, along the way we got glimpses of really cool things happening in her faith development as a result of her participation in worship with us. That made it worthwhile. I will also say that there were many weeks I didn't (or Matt didn't) hear much of the sermon. But is that why I go to worship? Nope. It's not about me. And I'm an adult, so I can handle streaming the sermon at a later part of my week or finding other ways to challenge myself spiritually so that missing out on a few minutes (or the whole part) of the sermon doesn't detract from my faith walk. For me the worship situation is kinda like mealtime. Yes, eating at the table with a toddler is more work--you have to cut up bites, blow on hot morsels, clean up spilled milk, retrieve dropped napkins and forks......and sometimes my food is cold by the time I finish helping little ones. But the doesn't mean we feed our kids separately--we just accept that this is a teaching season--a time where we're teaching our little people to participate in mealtime and model and help them in each of the elements involved.
So I began to realize (and YIKES did Castleman's book challenge me) that I needed to begin preparing before Sunday morning to get my children's hearts (and bodies...and stuff....and minds...) ready for worship. I won't admit I've always done this perfectly and there have been seasons we've slacked off more than we should, but we work hard to be intentional about preparing their hearts for worship. I wanted to share some of the things that worked for my kids and our worship situation in case they'd be helpful for anyone else.
Here we go-- #1--Make friends with your worship leader and know what is going to happen during worship.
This might look differently for everyone. For me, I emailed the worship ministers/music ministers at both of the churches we've attended with little ones. (For Q it was a different church than we go to now with both kids). I asked them to send me the order each week so I could think through anything I want to prepare. This has worked out great! After I explained why I wanted to know, they were both very eager to help me out.
So every Thursday I get an email that outlines the songs, prayers, passages, and theme for the week. I'll go more into detail with what I do in one of the next posts.
So if you're up for the challenge--come aboard! Your first task--figure out how to obtain a list of the order of worship each week ahead of time so you can put some thought/prayer into the best way to prepare your children's hearts for worship.
More to come!
(a pic of my computer screen and the order of worship for the upcoming Sunday)
Something we've had in our living space since Quinn was around 18 months old was a writing/art table. We started out keeping a simple art box on top of the fridge that I got down for her when she wanted to write or when I prompted her to do it--it held markers, pencils, crayons, stickers, tape, and different paper choices.
Just after her 2nd birthday she was able to be independent with writing tools, so we set the box down on the table for her to use (only at the table!) whenever she desired. Around her 3rd birthday we had to add a little basket under the table to hold additional notebooks, notecards, envelopes, etc. We also added blunt-tipped scissors at this time.
This past spring I found a great little mail center at the Salvation Army. It was ugly brown, so I spraypainted it green, sanded it to "antique" it a bit and put a new knob on the drawer. It works great for organizing her writing supplies and looks nicer than the plastic box.
We've always spent time teaching her to use the different writing tools and she has done great with them. She has a stapler, tape dispenser, glue bottle, and lots of writing tools now. Beck also likes to use the writing table and is learning the tools, as well. The scissors are "off limits until you're 2 years old," so of course he always heads right for those and they get promptly removed by Big Sister. :)
It's amazing how often Quinn will sit and write, draw, cut, and create on her own. It's a soothing place for her to be, her own little corner that isn't too far away from the rest of us so she can still see what is going on with dinner prep, etc. Right now she loves writing letters, especially when she gets to put a stamp on them. She brings the letter to me, I draw a small "s" where the stamp goes and then she gets one from my drawer and does the rest herself. Now she knows where the stamp goes, but she still likes me to draw that "s."
Do you have a writing area? Simple is perfect!
If you have a writing table, what can you change/improve/add/take away to cater to your child's current development?
So many skills are developed here--independence, literacy, fine motor, creativity, problem solving....I could go on and on!
My education background includes a bachelors in elementary education and a masters in early childhood education with a focus on play-based learning. I have taught at the elementary, preschool, toddler, infant and college levels and in traditional, montessori and Waldorf enviroments. One of life's most intriguing elements to me is how kids learn, and I believe it's rooted in play and simple daily routines. This blog chronicles my own personal (and very informal) lab....and my subjects are my sweet daughter, Q and my little man, B, and a potpourri of precious foster kiddos God places in our home. Our goal is to have fun together and along the way learn how to read, cook, garden, craft, act like Jesus, show kindness, and a world of other skills! Maybe you'll learn a thing or two, as well!!! This year I am homeschooling a 3rd and 6th grader, and you can follow along more regularly via Instagram @daicialei to see what we're doing on a daily basis!
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