Wooden Doll Sets...and a deeper discussion on managing toys

Q got a few of these great wooden doll dress-up sets for Christmas! She is having fun exploring them and learning some great vocabulary and fine motor skills. These activities are definitely very age-appropriate for her, with one modification. Typically they come with too many pieces. Which is a nice problem to have, and very simple to solve! I take out about half of the pieces, put them in a ziplock that is marked with what set it goes to, and store it in our learning cabinet. This enables her to manage the amount of pieces--to play with them without becoming overwhelmed, to be expected to clean the set up (realistically toddlers are only aboue to clean up about 8-10 items without losing focus) and then new pieces can be rotated in to add interest over time. I spent one whole day working with Q's new Christmas toys and learning tools and about half of every set was put away, leaving only a managable number out to work with.

Note: Toddlers (and even preschoolers) have to "inventory" everything they work with before they get down to the actual business of working. You've seen them do this with crayons or markers. They have to take every crayon and make a mark on the paper before they actually start drawing. In play kitchens they want to empty everything out and shuffle the items around before they can actually get started pretending to cook or wash dishes. If a new child comes over to your house, you'll notice they rifle through all your toys, examining (or throwing or tasting) EVERYTHING before they can settle down to play. This is, of course, a normal developmental behavior, but if the environment is overwhelming or has too many choices, it can hamper the child from actually working or playing at a higher developmental level (such as pretend play).
Same thing with choices--if it's snack time you'd never make this offer to your child:
"Do you want cheese, or pretzels, or yogurt, or raisins, or cheerios, or a muffin, or some toast or apple slices?" Too overwhelming. Instead you give two, maybe three choices at a time, which is managable for a toddler brain to process, consider, and decide upon (most of the time.....)
The same is true for toys, books, and play items. Children need an environment that offers choices, but not an overwhelming amount of choices. So feel free to pare down, put away, move out, and only offer a few items at a time, neatly organized and displayed at your child's level.
I applaud a friend who told me this weekend that she temporarily put up her children's play kitchen for a season of time, since she is choosing to offer other play items. Because of this conscious decision, she is making the play kitchen a learning tool and not just a piece of ignored furniture. :)

Beanbags

Our girl is into throwing stuff. Kinda annoying to Matt and I, but understandibly a developmental stage.....she's learning control of those large muscles and also learning to express her emotions through throwing things. We have been working to redirect her throwing to positive venues--I made her a set of beanbags (post to come) and we love to play the "beanbag game." We put a rug on the floor and then set a metal baking bowl a few feet away. We take turns throwing the beanbags into the bowl. Throwing somewhat accurately is a 2-3 year-old milestone and fun to practice with all different objects, including beanbags!

Dots and Squeezies

My mom sent a little handout she is using with her kindergarteners on some simple deep pressure massage techniques kids can use to calm themselves and parents can use on their kids...and if you are lucky, you might even be able to talk your kiddo into trying them on you!

Dots:
Gently but firmly press your thumb into the palm of the opposite hand--all around the palm. Dots can also be done on the feet. Avoid fingers and toes.

Squeezies:
Start at the wrist and move up to the shoulders--gently but firmly squeeze all around as you move up. can also be done on the legs.

Benefits:
-calming
-self-regulation
-focus control
-body awareness

*Dots and squeezies can be helpful in providing relief to screaming babies, as well!

I love this simple way to give our children (and ourselves...I will totally be using this on myself and my husband!!) a way to regain self-control. Right now we are in the throws of toddlerdom at our house, and I love tools I can use to redirect my daughter when she is in the middle of melting down. This strategy is simple, interesting because it's something new to toddlers, and puts the locus of control on the child (what they are probably melting down about) while still achieving the parents' desired results.

Add it to your repoitoire!!!

"Love This" repost

Read this article today on the Rookie Mom website. It puts exactly into words something I have found to be a great tool in living with an active toddler. We try to give Quinn opportunities for getting to 10 in positive, structured ways that are under our control (even though she doesn't realize this), and it has been really helpful in meeting this need. We can tell when we haven't given her enough venues for "10's" because she takes herself there on her own, which involves tantrums and writhing and screaming, and the like.

Some of the tactics we like to use are encouraging her to make animal sounds or say words really loudly. She loves playing this "game" with Daddy in the car where they take turns yelling out words or sounds. We also strive to give her running around time outside every day--she loves to be chased! Climbing at the park is another great outlet for her. She thinks it is so fun to jump from bathmat to bathmat in our bathroom (we have 3 mats), and we encourage her to run up and down the hallway and flop onto her bed. These are all simple ways for her to get into a fun frenzy, exert some energy, stretch her muscles, and use her vocal cords....all the while doing it at times where this behavior is not disobedient or adversive. Whitney explains it so much better. Read below:

Brace yourself: The zero to ten scale

by Whitney on March 12, 2010

in Month 2

The best advice Ryan and I got during our first days with Julian came from a source that I can no longer remember, perhaps the pediatrician who made rounds in the hospital. It was this:

Babies need to go from 0 to 10 on a daily basis. A sleeping baby is at 0 and may spend most of his day that way. At 10, loud and incessant crying, your baby is also doing his job. At 0, 1, and 2, you probably feel like a pretty good parent, while at 8, 9, and 10 you assume you are doing everything wrong, your baby is in terrible pain, and wish that someone, perhaps the real mother of this baby, would come show you what the problem is.

Remember this scale, rookie moms. Your own baby’s crying is surprisingly difficult to endure. And it’s not because you’ve been reinvented as the most empathetic person on the planet or because you are so completely bonded with your baby. It’s because the sound is blood-curdlingly horrific and you know that no one else is responsible. Whatever the problem is, it’s yours to solve.

There might not be a problem is the point, however. It might just be your baby’s daily visit to the number 10. Rock her, change her, shush her, swing her, feed her. Even put her down in her crib and leave the room. Hey, for some kids, that works!

Remember this tip, pregnant readers, so that when your baby is at 5, 6, or 7, you can maintain a little perspective and save some energy for the rating of 10 that typically arrives around 4 or 5 pm.

Toddler and preschooler moms, are you still reading? Here’s my advanced patented theory of parenting: Your walking, talking child also needs to go from 0 to 10 on a daily basis. That’s why he’s hyperventilating over a light switch that you flipped on when he wanted to DO IT BY MAH SELF! He’s just exercising his ability to get to 10.

Maintaining perspective for the preschool set: When your kid is bouncing off the walls with glee, rolling around in the laundry you just folded, and hurling plastic tractors down a slide toward other kids, at least it is a happy 10. Isn’t it more pleasant than a tantrum about getting in the car seat that forced you to brace your knee against your child’s torso while you buckled him in? What? I do this to my daughter on a regular basis.

Find some positive ways to help your child get to 10 every day, to run around like a maniac; to jump on a pile of pillows, stuffed animals, and scarves; to throw rocks into water; and to scream “HOORAY!” and “POOP IS FUNNY!” loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Then hope that you’ve bought yourself another day.

Does your child reach 10 every day? What tip have you passed on the most to new parents?

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